tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88352334421721231422024-03-13T19:50:22.317-07:00Racism is Over!Life in the New America.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-53798652888556910662010-03-08T13:33:00.000-08:002010-03-31T23:01:35.710-07:00Obamistan! The book is here!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://welcometoobamistan.com/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 207px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/S5VtvEcPs9I/AAAAAAAAAN4/e_lMdm-Albc/s320/Obamistan+Cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446379979787973586" border="0" /></a>Hey everyone!<br /><br />The blog became a book- and the book is here!<br /><br />Here's the scoop:<br /><p class="style84 style90"><span class="style80">Hilarious, sarcastic, and insightful</span>, this witty companion to the new America—which its loyal citizens call Obamistan—offers recommendations for navigating this exciting utopia. <span class="style93">Eyewitness testimonials, pop quizzes, newspaper clippings, and Twitter feeds</span> tell unprepared citizens what to expect now that America has elected a black president and left prejudice and racism behind. This comprehensive manual addresses the ways in which all former hot-button issues—including <span class="style112">immigration, health care, gentrification, reparations, foreclosures, holidays, and toilet paper</span>—are now addressed in the gentle Obamistan, showing even those who miss the old America how to adjust. With details about Dick Cheney’s cozy new digs in Guantanamo Bay, <span class="style93">this handbook covers the new America from sea to shining sea.</span></p> <p class="style91 style111">"a sense of hope and optimism -- something that sometimes feels completely missing among progressives these days."</p><p class="style91 style111"><br /></p>Please check it out- we are sure you won't be disappointed. Enjoy, laugh, and consider not just voting for change, but being the change!<br /><br />damaliRacism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-33739627991734326262009-04-01T12:04:00.000-07:002009-04-01T12:12:36.390-07:00BlogsHey Folks!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://damaliayo.com/book%20promos/images/Obamistan/Obamistan%20Promo1sm.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 349px; height: 210px;" src="http://damaliayo.com/book%20promos/images/Obamistan/Obamistan%20Promo1sm.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />We know there's been a bit of a lag in the blog these days. It's not because the New America hasn't given us plenty to write about, it has! But instead of laying it all out here, we decided to help our friend, artist and writer <a href="http://damaliayo.com/">damali ayo</a>, put all of this into a book. <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Obamistan</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">! Land without Racism, Your Guide to the New America,</span> will be released in early 2010. The book is just what you need to navigate and negotiate your way through this new, exciting, and sometimes tricky terrain.<br /><br />We are working away at it, so <a href="mailto:racismisovernow@gmail.com">if you have ideas to contribute, send them in!</a> You could end up in print! She's also looking for cool photoshopers to help convert some of the ideas into images. If you've got the chops, drop her a line.<br /><br />Keep living it up New-America-style!<br /><br />Oh, and if you want something to read between now and then, check out damali's first book <a href="http://rent-a-negro.com/How%20to%20Rent.htm">How to Rent a Negro</a>.<br /><br />Jamal and Tamika<br />and the Racism is Over! CrewRacism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-82429178774906235252009-03-02T04:20:00.000-08:002009-03-02T04:20:00.897-08:00"Indian"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZDIqx-MvzI/AAAAAAAAANw/Vv9maEAW1LA/s1600-h/IndiaIndian.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 298px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZDIqx-MvzI/AAAAAAAAANw/Vv9maEAW1LA/s320/IndiaIndian.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300957398709354290" border="0" /></a><br />Guest Blogger: Anu<br /><br />In the New America, people have actually figured out that Native and Indigenous peoples are not Indian. That’s right, they actually figured out that Columbus did not actually land in India- and therefore that the people he found here are not actually Indians. It’s amazing to me that this took centuries and a black president to get people to figure this out. I got so sick of people asking me, “are you Asian Indian or Native American Indian?” Huh? There is no such thing as a <span style="font-style: italic;">Native American Indian</span>. Indians are from India. Even worse, people would ask me “Are you spot or feather?” This was one of the hardest times for me to restrain myself and practice <span style="font-style: italic;">ahimsa</span>, the Hindu principle of nonviolence. I swear my patience really got tested some days.<br /><br />But now…now! When I say I am Indian, they say, “Oh, from what region? It’s like I woke up one day in a world where everyone is educated and actually in touch with reality. What a relief.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-6483866903137924052009-02-16T03:44:00.000-08:002009-02-16T03:44:01.011-08:00Rhyming<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZDAIRSNR3I/AAAAAAAAANo/jJMupFbVtAY/s1600-h/rhyming+dictionary"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZDAIRSNR3I/AAAAAAAAANo/jJMupFbVtAY/s320/rhyming+dictionary" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300948009726330738" border="0" /></a>One of my most recent discoveries about the New America is that I no longer have to rhyme my words in order to be listened to.<br /><br />For years, I’ve been trying to be taken seriously as a, well, as a person, but I’ve found that people expect me to sound a certain way. Yes, people think I am going to talk in “black English” but really, after many years, I’ve discovered that what they really want me to do, in order to be remembered, it to rhyme. You know, they want me to sound like Jesse Jackson or any number of hip-hop artists. It’s all the same- for white folks to remember what you said, it’s best to make things rhyme.<br /><br />But now, I can speak my mind and people actually understand me- they actually get what I am saying and they remember it! One person actually repeated my words to me the other day and got the gist and the details of what I was saying correct. When they couldn’t remember exactly they asked me “now, how did you frame that idea?” This is much different than the usual “okay, say it again. How did it go?” as if I were pitching them a song, or commercial jingle. I finally feel like I’m being taken seriously- without the need to rhyme.<br /><br />And to that I say, maybe we have reached the day “when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.”Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-65802485496276323292009-02-09T01:20:00.000-08:002009-02-09T13:26:06.989-08:00Reservations (the dinner kind)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZCfO5wtgJI/AAAAAAAAANg/l6b6Jh4BBsk/s1600-h/dinner-reservations.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 170px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SZCfO5wtgJI/AAAAAAAAANg/l6b6Jh4BBsk/s320/dinner-reservations.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300911839787188370" border="0" /></a><br />I am so glad to report that I no longer need to use a fake name to get reservations at a restaurant!<br /><br />Before, I would call up to reserve a table and I could hear the suspicion in the hostess’ voice when I said my name. “How <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly</span> is that spelled?” It was like she was holding her nose just to write the thing down. It used to take three or four spellings just to get the person to write down my name. It took forever. They acted as if it were a collection of letters that had no business lining up next to each other, let alone being pronounced all at the same time. Then finally when I would get to the restaurant, I’d have to find my own name on the reservation list because the hostess couldn’t find my name because she had no idea how to visualize it to look for it on the list. Even if she could, it wouldn’t matter because after several spellings of my name on the phone to the first hostess, my name always still ended up misspelled on the list. It got to be such an exhausting experience that I just started using the name “Jen Brown” to make reservations.<br /><br />It’s funny how there is something about racism being over that means that people of color are actually known about and understood. It doesn’t remove who we are or make us invisible- it makes me feel as if I am no longer an out-layer. I am actually part of the norm. Who knew that feeling average would feel so good? Being boring is actually a pleasure! I had friends who used to say “I’m just a boring white guy.” I didn’t know that meant “Life is good because I can relax and be taken as a regular part of our culture and not be made to feel like a wart on society on a regular basis.”<br /><br />I get it now.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-31102575178331018902009-02-05T13:02:00.000-08:002009-02-05T13:02:00.439-08:00Police<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SYixKSGHG6I/AAAAAAAAANU/fvz8HezNlGA/s1600-h/police+hug"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 198px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SYixKSGHG6I/AAAAAAAAANU/fvz8HezNlGA/s320/police+hug" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298679751815666594" border="0" /></a><br />Guest Blogger: Edward<br /><br />It’s been so great to be a police officer since racism has ended. It makes my job so much easier! I have to admit, that it was hard to keep so much in my head at once. I mean, we didn’t just have to remember the laws, our code of conduct, how to get around the city and use our sirens and weapons, but we also had to remember all this stuff about black people being drug addicts, brown-skinned people with head things being spies and consipirtors, brown-skinned people standing on corners being illegal, and that everyone with an accent was a terrorist. That’s just the half of it. Really, it was too much. We got confused, we really did. So we simplified it to the idea that brown-skinned people across the board were inherently more violent and dangerous than everyone else. So shoot them. Really, we have a lot to think about so we had to make something simple to remember.<br /><br />That seemed to work out okay for the most part, very few officers lost their jobs with that policy, so we were cool with it. But now we know that’s not true. You’d think this would shatter our realities, but it actually makes our jobs even easier! Now we just treat everyone as a citizen who deserves equal respect and investigation if the situation merits it. We actually find out things like facts and details and then act on those. I mean, it makes sense when you think about it, no matter how much of a criminal one person is the probably aren’t more dangerous than three of us carrying guns, clubs and tazers, right?Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-47042686075159815762009-02-03T12:47:00.000-08:002009-02-03T12:51:46.646-08:00Fake Siblings (aka “Bro” and “Sista”)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SYiuQvKLImI/AAAAAAAAANM/FS8a73whH8Q/s1600-h/bro.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SYiuQvKLImI/AAAAAAAAANM/FS8a73whH8Q/s320/bro.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298676564161667682" border="0" /></a><br />Oh, Jamal…you know how I used to hate when someone I was not related to called me “sista?” Well, I am happy to say that since the dawn of our new country, this has not been a problem at all. People now address me using…wait for it…it’s shocking…are you sitting down?….my name. Yes, that’s right- people actually use my name when they are trying to connect with me in conversation. It’s such a lovely change of pace. For a while I was getting suspicious that white people called black women “sister” because they couldn’t tell us apart from on another, and that “sis” was a good catch-all that prevented the chore of having to learn a black person’s actual name. I do have to admit, I feel like my family has grown just a bit smaller, but that’s okay by me.<br /><br />Oh, Tamika, you are not kidding around, if one more person called me “bro” who was not actually my brother, I think I was going to sick my mother on them.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">(T-shirt design by <a href="http://www.tbearwear.com/">TBWear</a>)<br /></div>Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-8947205401124362092009-01-27T08:42:00.000-08:002009-01-27T09:00:26.849-08:00Small Talk<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SX85z6NC1kI/AAAAAAAAANE/raPhntteFjU/s1600-h/ch07-004_1300.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SX85z6NC1kI/AAAAAAAAANE/raPhntteFjU/s320/ch07-004_1300.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296015250771072578" border="0" /></a>Hey Tamika,<br /><br />Remember "back in the day" when it seemed like every time a white person wanted to talk to you they started by talking about the latest book they read by a black person. If they hadn't read a book by a black person they'd bring up the latest popular (ie: Denzel Washington or Will Smith) movie? If you hadn't seen it they'd look at you like you were some kind of inauthentic black person, or...crazy.<br /><br />It seems like just yesterday my friend Vishal was saying that random people keep wanting to talk to him about <span style="font-style: italic;">Slumdog Millionaire</span>, Kate and Janet say every time they hold hands in public someone taps them on the shoulder and to tell them that they voted against proposition 8, and Juan Carlos says that he had gotten plum sick of hearing about Bill Richardson. I agree, if I heard one more person tell me "aren't you proud of Obama? and all that your people have achieved?" I was going to go postal.<br /><br />But now, in our post-racism world, people just talk to each other. Wow, it's like a breath of fresh air- they just say hello and ask about work, the weather, or the latest news or sports. It's not so much that people are color blind- I feel very comfortable bringing up race, I mean- they can see that I'm black. It's no secret, but now I get to bring it up on my terms, in my own way. People don't think that the only thing there is to talk about is the latest shallow association they have with people who look like me.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/fashion/15race.html">Or do they? </a>Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-70741045115422502712009-01-26T05:37:00.000-08:002009-01-26T09:42:29.014-08:00Cookies<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SX31wlj6GkI/AAAAAAAAAM8/uOogac-Qcjc/s1600-h/Drunken+negro+cookie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 177px; height: 177px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SX31wlj6GkI/AAAAAAAAAM8/uOogac-Qcjc/s320/Drunken+negro+cookie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295658951922817602" border="0" /></a>Remember how back in the days of racism it could be so hard to even get a cookie in this country without encountering some racist caricature? Especially in New York city, the most international city in the world- it was nearly impossible to walk into a bakery without walking out in a huff. Well, now we have nothing to worry about. You can rest assured that racist cookies are a thing of the past. So, eat up! <a href="http://gothamist.com/2009/01/23/greenwich_village_bakery_selling_dr.php">Chocolate is just chocolate</a> after all.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-89278604885004973052009-01-20T05:02:00.000-08:002009-01-20T10:43:22.891-08:00Presidential Inaugurations<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXYbO4jdFOI/AAAAAAAAAMs/4f2tCJf-DUA/s1600-h/Obama+Oath.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 217px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXYbO4jdFOI/AAAAAAAAAMs/4f2tCJf-DUA/s320/Obama+Oath.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293448354533807330" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Yeah, this definitely is different than before.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-56815850129688446372009-01-19T04:51:00.000-08:002009-01-19T17:00:49.881-08:00MLK Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUgdOVt9HI/AAAAAAAAAMc/Kf-Yf4rNIpc/s1600-h/malcolm+martin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 227px; height: 210px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUgdOVt9HI/AAAAAAAAAMc/Kf-Yf4rNIpc/s320/malcolm+martin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293172623481369714" border="0" /></a><br />The country finally gave up its strangle-hold on Martin Luther King Jr. and admitted that many many courageous activists worked together to change this country.<br /><br />Now we celebrate all of us.<br /><br />Thank goodness.<br />and thank Martin, Malcolm, Huey, Bobby, Ida, WEB, Fredrick, Shirley, Stokely, Amiri, Medgar, Fannie Lou, Rosa, Mary, Angela, Barbara, Ralph, A. Phillip, Bayard, and many many more.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-35102566883109253432009-01-15T16:40:00.000-08:002009-01-19T16:51:27.347-08:00Greeting Cards<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUfTbH866I/AAAAAAAAAMU/rmGWOSZzo5Q/s1600-h/5a.+Talk+About+Race+Greeting+Card.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 304px; height: 405px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUfTbH866I/AAAAAAAAAMU/rmGWOSZzo5Q/s320/5a.+Talk+About+Race+Greeting+Card.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293171355602971554" border="0" /></a><br />Hey Tamika-<br /><br />You know how I used to get so angry trying to buy greeting cards? Remember how I used to stomp out of the stores in a huff because every dad on the "Fathers's day" cards were white? Remember when I complained to that gift shop when I tried to get a card for my mother's birthday but all the cards I found for "Happy Birthday Mom" had white ladies in aprons on them? Remember how I refuse to go back into that store and you have to listen to a tirade from me about it every time we pass by?<br /><br />Well not anymore! I am so excited. Today I went back to that same gift shop- my sister's birthday is around the corner and you know how my family is obsessed with gifts and cards. Anyhow I held my breath and walked inside hoping that the new america would make the whole greeting card thing easier for me and low and behold.....cards with people of all kinds of races on them!<br /><br />I couldn't believe my eyes! In addition to that there was an entire row of cards dedicated to actual social issues. Seems like people can talk about it now that racism is over the greeting card industry realized that they were missing out on a giant marketing opportunity. So now you can get cards about coming out to your parents, announcing unwanted pregnancies, getting a divorce, and much much more! You can even get cards saying "I really need to talk to you about something..." and it has a little wheel that you can circle about to get just the right topic for your intervention. This stuff is perfect for my family!Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-46187874432463989752009-01-12T16:33:00.000-08:002009-01-19T16:49:57.659-08:00"Click" the Sound of Car Doors Locking<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUdMn3fXSI/AAAAAAAAAMM/4vI1cfV8dfI/s1600-h/door_lock.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 279px; height: 186px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SXUdMn3fXSI/AAAAAAAAAMM/4vI1cfV8dfI/s320/door_lock.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293169039741246754" border="0" /></a>Alice wrote us an email to share one of the things that she's glad has changed in the New America:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">As people drive in Cleveland they used to see a group of people on the street and hit the car lock button. Embarrassing for everyone. No need for that now. They might even have the window down and wave and say 'Hi!'</span><br /><br />You are so right Alice! Now people <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> roll down the window and say HI! to all who pass. Now the only "clicking" sound you hear as you walk down the street in Cleveland will be the sound of cameras taking pictures of our incredibly positive and fellow-citizen-loving world!<br /><br />Thanks for writing in!<br /><br />Jamal and TamikaRacism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-1519515580981275812009-01-06T09:57:00.000-08:002009-01-06T10:04:02.634-08:00Emotions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SWOcR4QWMeI/AAAAAAAAAME/l4Y4HJbNUaM/s1600-h/angry"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 137px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SWOcR4QWMeI/AAAAAAAAAME/l4Y4HJbNUaM/s320/angry" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288242218435752418" border="0" /></a>Happy New Year everyone!<br /><br />I am so glad to start this new year in a country where racism is over! I feel like a new born babe, able to be exactly who I want to be, exactly the way I want to be.<br /><br />One of the things I most enjoy about the new America is that now I can have any and all of the emotions I want to have without feeling like I am being a representative for my race. I can just be "Angry Tamika" instead of the "angry black woman" or I can be "Happy Tamika" without being labeled "Nell Carter," you know what I mean. I can just be me. My emotions aren't related to my race anymore. It was so frustrating in the old america when I would get angry or upset about something, it could be anything- it could have been how the bakery messed up my neice's birthday cake, and people would immediately make it into a racial thing, "do you think it's because you are black?" What? No. Even when I tried to explain that it was because my neice aways wanted blue icing on a cake and the bakery gave me green icing (ew), people still said "I bet they were really scared of you because you are such an angry black woman." or the woman at the bakery said "I'm not prejudiced, we just got the order wrong." I hadn't even mentioned race.<br /><br />Now, I can complain and bitch and moan all I want and I'm just being me.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-45252408967154959512008-12-28T11:30:00.000-08:002009-01-05T11:38:31.689-08:00Kwanzaa<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SWJhddXAorI/AAAAAAAAAL8/01C4_ZnvJpM/s1600-h/kwanza.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 187px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SWJhddXAorI/AAAAAAAAAL8/01C4_ZnvJpM/s320/kwanza.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287896071211623090" border="0" /></a>Guest blogger: Joy<br /><br />Harambe Everybody! Habari Gani!<br /><br />I am so stoked that now that racism is over I can celebrate Kwanzaa in peace!<br /><br />It seemed for a while there like there would never be any way to enjoy my favorite holiday with the joy and community that it creates without being misunderstood, told I am a weirdo, ridiculed, compared to Hanukkah, made fun of or told I'm a freak. When I was a kid no one knew anything about Kwanzaa and my mom had to come to my school and explain it to everyone. Now that I have grown up, Kwanzaa has turned into a joke on MadTV and everyone thinks it's funny to wish someone a happy Kwanzaa. Last year, I couldn't even put the days of the week on my Facebook status because people kept commenting on how it is a fake made-up holiday.<br /><br />What holiday isn't made up? Seriously. You think Easter eggs were what...invented by god? Did they come raining down from the heavens one day? Come on.<br /><br />Now I can light my candles with pride and joy! People have heard of Kwanzaa, know what it is, how to celebrate it and no one makes fun of me anymore. What a relief.<br /><br />So...now I can say with confidence, Happy Kwanzaa everybody! Let's all pull together (Harambee)!Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-73574589355613520562008-12-24T04:29:00.000-08:002008-12-24T04:29:00.109-08:00Santa Claus<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUkwfgSCzAI/AAAAAAAAALU/VI0rDHn0KM4/s1600-h/santa"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 194px; height: 197px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUkwfgSCzAI/AAAAAAAAALU/VI0rDHn0KM4/s320/santa" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280805355868310530" border="0" /></a>Oh. My. Goodness. Tamika, this might be my favorite part of the new post-racism America. I nearly fell out when I was at my brother’s house to decorate the Christmas tree this year. My little nephew, looks up and says “Daddy, why does the fat white man bring us presents every year?” and my Brother, without skipping a beat replied,<br /><br />“Well, son, you know how they taught you in school about the all the other fat white men who put your grandpa’s grandpa into slavery?”<br /><br />“Yeah. They were really scary.”<br /><br />“They sure were, Hakim. And then after that, they kept your grandpa from voting, and going to school, and they used to keep me from getting jobs that were equal to the jobs they had. But not all white people are scary, or mean, or invested in racial inequality. In fact now, white people embrace and promote racial equality. As a symbol of that, a friendly, nice fat white man comes and brings presents to kids all over the world to remind us that everyone is equal and deserving of all that is good.”<br /><br />“Awesome! I love Santa Claus.”<br /><br />I swear I nearly spit out my egg nog.<br /><br />But it did make me miss my favorite <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp_iB8Nd8Os">holiday song..</a>.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-80972857212534634132008-12-23T04:30:00.000-08:002008-12-23T04:30:01.440-08:00Telling People Apart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUk4V4MIDLI/AAAAAAAAALs/1k5ddZYZkyI/s1600-h/law+and+order"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 154px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUk4V4MIDLI/AAAAAAAAALs/1k5ddZYZkyI/s320/law+and+order" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280813986580270258" border="0" /></a>I totally hear you Su Yin. Along those lines, have you noticed that people seem to be able to tell each other apart? I haven’t been mistaken for the other black men at my office yet. Every time the three of us are in the break room at the same time, and one of our white colleagues comes in we look at ourselves wondering who will be called by whose name. We were placing bets on it for a while but so far, no one’s mixed us up at all. And even better, no one has come in and told us that we look just like the latest black movie start to be in a Hollywood movie. And, it seems they can tell those guys apart too. No more “I saw this movie with Denzel…no, maybe it was Taye…or was it Jamie…you know, one of those guys.” They actually call me, my colleagues, and all other black men by their names!Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-53750197008748409512008-12-22T04:28:00.000-08:002008-12-22T04:28:00.847-08:00Accents<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUkywPdYqTI/AAAAAAAAALc/QRZuPeiFsZU/s1600-h/kathy+lee+squint"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 204px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUkywPdYqTI/AAAAAAAAALc/QRZuPeiFsZU/s320/kathy+lee+squint" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280807842433509682" border="0" /></a>Guest Blogger: Su Yin<br /><br />Jamal and Tamika,<br />I swear I am about to cry as I write this. I really thought this day would never ever come, not in my lifetime not in the lifetime of the kids I hope to have one day, not in the lifetime of the grandkids I hope to have one day. But it has come.<br /><br />For centuries people have been making fun of the way Asians and Asian Americans talk. Everyone seems to think it’s a normal thing to mock someone’s accent. I get made fun of by kids in school, adults in offices, or celebrities on TV (shout out to Rosie O’Donnell, Al Roker and Kathy Lee Gifford) On top of that I think I will never hear “what kind of Chinese is that?” when I tell people that I’m Taiwanese. People used to act like they’ve never heard of Taiwain, (except as the place all plastic was made) let alone understood the relationship and struggle between China and Taiwain.<br /><br />But today…today I woke up to a world where I will never have to hear the words “ching chong” again. On top of that, no one is ever going to say to me again “you speak such good English!” Thinking I’m an immigrant, instead of someone whose family has been here for three generations.<br /><br />I really never thought the day would come when something that had haunted me my whole life would be handled in such a mature, respectful and beautiful way. I think I can actually think about starting a family now- now that there’s one less terrible thing my kids will have to face in this world.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-12853981976228883802008-12-19T04:41:00.000-08:002008-12-19T04:41:00.685-08:00Children Named Hitler<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUp9b6kEldI/AAAAAAAAAL0/odZImpDPfzQ/s1600-h/hitler+kid"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 236px; height: 151px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUp9b6kEldI/AAAAAAAAAL0/odZImpDPfzQ/s320/hitler+kid" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281171431575819730" border="0" /></a>Here’s a <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/news/specials/unusual-tales/birthday-boys-name-doesnt-take-the-cake/2008/12/17/1229189675703.html">real news story</a> from the "old America”<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">The father of three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell is asking for a little tolerance, “A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did." Young Adolf has two younger sisters. JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell will be two in February, while an infant named after Heinrich Himmler turns 1 in April.</span><br /><br />This would never ever happen in post-racism America.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-42734829591744681182008-12-18T05:17:00.000-08:002008-12-18T05:17:01.027-08:00Spray Tan<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUk0dvHarVI/AAAAAAAAALk/PDHEfyeqKpk/s1600-h/spraytan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 194px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUk0dvHarVI/AAAAAAAAALk/PDHEfyeqKpk/s320/spraytan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280809723537042770" border="0" /></a>Whew. Now that racism is over, and white people are comfortable in their own skin, they stopped doing strange things like this...<br /><br />That's got to be better for them, everyone around them and the environment, don't you think?Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-84902574231332335762008-12-17T04:51:00.000-08:002008-12-17T09:24:18.300-08:00History<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUaozXZqaoI/AAAAAAAAAJs/NqIGMQVleFY/s1600-h/matt-damon+robin+hood.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 165px; height: 242px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUaozXZqaoI/AAAAAAAAAJs/NqIGMQVleFY/s320/matt-damon+robin+hood.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280093213546932866" border="0" /></a>I really wondered what post-racism America would do with History. I mean we’ve been telling such a skewed and twisted tale of history for so long, I couldn't imagine how the new America would deal with it. So much has been incorrect, inaccurate and down right biased over the many years of our pre-post-racism country. Setting the record straight was going to be a huge task.<br /><br />I remembered that reparations check that you got in the mail, Jamal, so I headed down to the Department of Truth and Reconciliation. I found that they had created a an office of Historical Accuracy. Good start. I peeked in and learned that Howard Zinn was appointed Secretary of History. He wasn’t there of course, he was out “with the people” the administrative assistant told me. Zinn has been assigned (well he was nominated and instantly appointed) to on the gigantic task of undoing the historical deceptions and manipulations that had been a part of curricula, text books, folk tales, stamps, currency, the History Channel, Elvis - everything that had been a part of the propaganda machine of the former American ways. Of course, Zinn's job is made easier by the fact that people of color have been writing our own histories for so long, that really all the department had to do is actually incorporate those into the official record.<br /><br />Howard’s buddy and Hollywood Hottie, Matt Damon became the public relations arm of the office as the History Ambassador. He travels around the country and the world putting a friendly (and cute) face on the New America. It’s serious work but Matt has really helped to diffused a lot of the anger that has resulted from the western-centric lies of history telling. Matt offers himself, “As a representative of the United States, I admit that we really twisted history to make ourselves look better. But I am here to help us make it right,” and people seem to really listen.<br /><br />You might ask why assign two white men to the task of correcting history in a post-racism country? Well, I asked the same question. In fact, I went right up to sexy ol’ Matt Damon and asked him directly. “Who better?” He smiled, “We know exactly what we did to turn history in our favor in the first place. Plus it’s time the white guys did some of the heavy lifting around here.” Damn, that man is hot.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-87302269045018974882008-12-16T04:52:00.000-08:002008-12-16T04:52:00.375-08:00The Supreme Court<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFTmuLfRqI/AAAAAAAAAJk/DpgtG_OROZE/s1600-h/supreme-court.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 171px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFTmuLfRqI/AAAAAAAAAJk/DpgtG_OROZE/s320/supreme-court.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278592162951284386" border="0" /></a>Speaking of juries, the ultimate jury in our land had to (obviously) be completely re-populated. Now, in the effort to assist the highest court in the land to interpret the constitution in the most informed and objective way, the Senate decided that it should, like all branches of government, be representative of the people it governs. With nine seats available, five are now filled by women, and five by people of color (overlapping is obviously allowed). There’s one gay judge, one judge under 35, and two with disabilities. Justices are appointed by the House, confirmed by the Senate and serve a term of 10 years. The Constitution has never looked so good. Ben Franklin would be beside himself with joy. You can almost hear the voice John Marshall in the room cheering, “Keep up the good work, everyone!” Carriage of justice has been phenomenal since.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-65011118565465012262008-12-15T04:52:00.000-08:002008-12-15T04:52:00.368-08:00Old Glory<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFFh0orxbI/AAAAAAAAAJU/dcjfMRmfNOw/s1600-h/American+New+Flag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 295px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFFh0orxbI/AAAAAAAAAJU/dcjfMRmfNOw/s320/American+New+Flag.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278576685622216114" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Wow. They are really going all the way with this thing.<br /></div>Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-50835983349872569562008-12-11T11:35:00.000-08:002008-12-11T11:40:06.689-08:00Guantanamo Bay<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFPl5USfNI/AAAAAAAAAJc/dxtxUEKRLaY/s1600-h/guantanamo_bay.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 249px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUFPl5USfNI/AAAAAAAAAJc/dxtxUEKRLaY/s320/guantanamo_bay.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278587750714604754" border="0" /></a>I’ve been wondering, what does a country do with its off-shore military detention facility in a post-racism world? It’s a dilemma I am sure many countries will face as they follow in the footsteps of the United States. The New American Way- electing leaders of color, changing their ways, teaching accurate history, re-envisioning heroes, and of course, punishing those who act against freedom. We are, after all, still America.<br /><br />But in the new post-racism America, we do things differently. So I did some research to find out just what happened with ol’ Git’mo. Here’s what I found. The first thing we did was to start paying Cuba a decent price for the land we occupy. The Castro brothers (more keep emerging) are quite pleased with the new rent-to-own agreement we have about the land where the Guantanamo Bay Facility sits. They of course use our dollars to improve the farming and education of the citizens of Cuba, basically it’s a win-win situation.<br /><br />Next we had to decide just who to put in the darn place. That wasn’t as hard as it might have seemed. In fact, when things changed and racism was abolished, there were, as you might expect, a few folks who would not let go of the old ways. But we couldn’t let them stay in the country. They are enemies of freedom. Nonetheless, everyone seems to have found their own niche. Former Supreme Court Justices Thomas and Scalia share a cell (their request) and pass the time making paper dolls out of copies of the Constitution, Don Imus and Howard Stern host a morning show and take turns hurling insults at each other, and there were so many Fox News people that they gave them their own studio. They produce a cute little Git’news show every night to keep everyone informed about all the gossip and goings on at the base. Mel Gibson has taken up as the resident corner drunk- finally a role he’s good at, Michael Richards still tries his hand at comedy but even there he seems to bomb, and apparently Rosie O’Donnell wanders aimlessly around mumbling to herself and laughing at her own jokes, but that’s not so different than before.<br /><br />It’s not a bad facility. I am told that people are treated humanely. They get three square meals a day. They are allowed to worship and pray as they choose. There’s a nice gym for them to work out and you can’t beat the weather down there. When they are not in voluntary re-education or therapy sessions, they socialize, go for walks, and several of the detainees are writing their memoirs. Pre-post-racism literature has not been outlawed in the New America. In fact it has quite the following, “we must know where we came from so we never go back.”Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8835233442172123142.post-71591099237568805492008-12-11T05:23:00.000-08:002008-12-11T08:57:01.903-08:00Juries<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUAQ1wyOuUI/AAAAAAAAAJE/MEJ2Meg0GN4/s1600-h/jury+white"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 177px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vc6YZveObuE/SUAQ1wyOuUI/AAAAAAAAAJE/MEJ2Meg0GN4/s320/jury+white" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278237279092914498" border="0" /></a>Yesterday I fulfilled my civic responsibility and reported for jury duty. It wasn’t half bad. They had a big room with comfy chairs, wireless internet, phones, coffee, tea and pastry. Who could complain? I got more work done sitting there all day than I do at my usual office.<br /><br />At the beginning of the day, one of the judges came in and gave us a little pep-talk about how serving as a juror is one of the very few things you are required to do as part of living in a democracy. You know the speech, they give it every day, but this time there was something different.<br /><br />The judge continued, “And now that racism is over, our system is committed to picking juries that truly represent a cross-section of our country and give the system a sense of balance and objectivity that it lacked for so many years. We no longer send black defendants to trial with all-white juries. I mean, those juries could barely tell black people apart, let alone tell which black person is innocent or guilty. Hell, one jury got so confused they tried to send the prosecuting attorney to jail. I for one sure got tired of sending innocent people to jail. It was getting hard to sleep at night. You can only take so much NyQuil in one night you know.” The judge laughed nervously, squeezed her shoulder with her mic-free hand and seemed to get lost in her thought for a moment.<br /><br />She shook off her temporary demon and got back on track, “And no more white defendants with all-black…oh uh, we never really had the opposite problem, so really, what I am saying here is basically, you know, uh, ‘no more all-white juries.’ And that means no more all-white-with-one-person-of-color juries either. I’m talking actual diversity here people, you know like the country we live in? Representative democracy, Anyone? Just like the Founding Fathers intended it? Remember? It’s not that hard people.” Now she had found her stride. The judge had a bit of failed-comedian-turned-talk-show-host in her.<br /><br />“Anyway, what this means for you folks is that we will be calling a selection of you forward randomly by your name on the list. If we see that the selected group is not racially balanced we will shuffle some of you in and out until we get a jury that can carry out justice without the racial imbalance that can lead to bias in our judicial process. Do you get what I am saying, people? Can I get a witness? I mean…a juror! Hah!”<br /><br />The potential jurors all mumbled “yes” and went back to texting, typing and watching the new big-screen TVs that had been installed to keep us from gauging each others’ eyes out from boredom.Racism Is Over!http://www.blogger.com/profile/01616317824242330295noreply@blogger.com0