MLK Day

The country finally gave up its strangle-hold on Martin Luther King Jr. and admitted that many many courageous activists worked together to change this country.

Now we celebrate all of us.

Thank goodness.
and thank Martin, Malcolm, Huey, Bobby, Ida, WEB, Fredrick, Shirley, Stokely, Amiri, Medgar, Fannie Lou, Rosa, Mary, Angela, Barbara, Ralph, A. Phillip, Bayard, and many many more.

Greeting Cards

Hey Tamika-

You know how I used to get so angry trying to buy greeting cards? Remember how I used to stomp out of the stores in a huff because every dad on the "Fathers's day" cards were white? Remember when I complained to that gift shop when I tried to get a card for my mother's birthday but all the cards I found for "Happy Birthday Mom" had white ladies in aprons on them? Remember how I refuse to go back into that store and you have to listen to a tirade from me about it every time we pass by?

Well not anymore! I am so excited. Today I went back to that same gift shop- my sister's birthday is around the corner and you know how my family is obsessed with gifts and cards. Anyhow I held my breath and walked inside hoping that the new america would make the whole greeting card thing easier for me and low and behold.....cards with people of all kinds of races on them!

I couldn't believe my eyes! In addition to that there was an entire row of cards dedicated to actual social issues. Seems like people can talk about it now that racism is over the greeting card industry realized that they were missing out on a giant marketing opportunity. So now you can get cards about coming out to your parents, announcing unwanted pregnancies, getting a divorce, and much much more! You can even get cards saying "I really need to talk to you about something..." and it has a little wheel that you can circle about to get just the right topic for your intervention. This stuff is perfect for my family!

"Click" the Sound of Car Doors Locking

Alice wrote us an email to share one of the things that she's glad has changed in the New America:

As people drive in Cleveland they used to see a group of people on the street and hit the car lock button. Embarrassing for everyone. No need for that now. They might even have the window down and wave and say 'Hi!'

You are so right Alice! Now people will roll down the window and say HI! to all who pass. Now the only "clicking" sound you hear as you walk down the street in Cleveland will be the sound of cameras taking pictures of our incredibly positive and fellow-citizen-loving world!

Thanks for writing in!

Jamal and Tamika

Emotions

Happy New Year everyone!

I am so glad to start this new year in a country where racism is over! I feel like a new born babe, able to be exactly who I want to be, exactly the way I want to be.

One of the things I most enjoy about the new America is that now I can have any and all of the emotions I want to have without feeling like I am being a representative for my race. I can just be "Angry Tamika" instead of the "angry black woman" or I can be "Happy Tamika" without being labeled "Nell Carter," you know what I mean. I can just be me. My emotions aren't related to my race anymore. It was so frustrating in the old america when I would get angry or upset about something, it could be anything- it could have been how the bakery messed up my neice's birthday cake, and people would immediately make it into a racial thing, "do you think it's because you are black?" What? No. Even when I tried to explain that it was because my neice aways wanted blue icing on a cake and the bakery gave me green icing (ew), people still said "I bet they were really scared of you because you are such an angry black woman." or the woman at the bakery said "I'm not prejudiced, we just got the order wrong." I hadn't even mentioned race.

Now, I can complain and bitch and moan all I want and I'm just being me.

Kwanzaa

Guest blogger: Joy

Harambe Everybody! Habari Gani!

I am so stoked that now that racism is over I can celebrate Kwanzaa in peace!

It seemed for a while there like there would never be any way to enjoy my favorite holiday with the joy and community that it creates without being misunderstood, told I am a weirdo, ridiculed, compared to Hanukkah, made fun of or told I'm a freak. When I was a kid no one knew anything about Kwanzaa and my mom had to come to my school and explain it to everyone. Now that I have grown up, Kwanzaa has turned into a joke on MadTV and everyone thinks it's funny to wish someone a happy Kwanzaa. Last year, I couldn't even put the days of the week on my Facebook status because people kept commenting on how it is a fake made-up holiday.

What holiday isn't made up? Seriously. You think Easter eggs were what...invented by god? Did they come raining down from the heavens one day? Come on.

Now I can light my candles with pride and joy! People have heard of Kwanzaa, know what it is, how to celebrate it and no one makes fun of me anymore. What a relief.

So...now I can say with confidence, Happy Kwanzaa everybody! Let's all pull together (Harambee)!

Santa Claus

Oh. My. Goodness. Tamika, this might be my favorite part of the new post-racism America. I nearly fell out when I was at my brother’s house to decorate the Christmas tree this year. My little nephew, looks up and says “Daddy, why does the fat white man bring us presents every year?” and my Brother, without skipping a beat replied,

“Well, son, you know how they taught you in school about the all the other fat white men who put your grandpa’s grandpa into slavery?”

“Yeah. They were really scary.”

“They sure were, Hakim. And then after that, they kept your grandpa from voting, and going to school, and they used to keep me from getting jobs that were equal to the jobs they had. But not all white people are scary, or mean, or invested in racial inequality. In fact now, white people embrace and promote racial equality. As a symbol of that, a friendly, nice fat white man comes and brings presents to kids all over the world to remind us that everyone is equal and deserving of all that is good.”

“Awesome! I love Santa Claus.”

I swear I nearly spit out my egg nog.

But it did make me miss my favorite holiday song...

Telling People Apart

I totally hear you Su Yin. Along those lines, have you noticed that people seem to be able to tell each other apart? I haven’t been mistaken for the other black men at my office yet. Every time the three of us are in the break room at the same time, and one of our white colleagues comes in we look at ourselves wondering who will be called by whose name. We were placing bets on it for a while but so far, no one’s mixed us up at all. And even better, no one has come in and told us that we look just like the latest black movie start to be in a Hollywood movie. And, it seems they can tell those guys apart too. No more “I saw this movie with Denzel…no, maybe it was Taye…or was it Jamie…you know, one of those guys.” They actually call me, my colleagues, and all other black men by their names!

Accents

Guest Blogger: Su Yin

Jamal and Tamika,
I swear I am about to cry as I write this. I really thought this day would never ever come, not in my lifetime not in the lifetime of the kids I hope to have one day, not in the lifetime of the grandkids I hope to have one day. But it has come.

For centuries people have been making fun of the way Asians and Asian Americans talk. Everyone seems to think it’s a normal thing to mock someone’s accent. I get made fun of by kids in school, adults in offices, or celebrities on TV (shout out to Rosie O’Donnell, Al Roker and Kathy Lee Gifford) On top of that I think I will never hear “what kind of Chinese is that?” when I tell people that I’m Taiwanese. People used to act like they’ve never heard of Taiwain, (except as the place all plastic was made) let alone understood the relationship and struggle between China and Taiwain.

But today…today I woke up to a world where I will never have to hear the words “ching chong” again. On top of that, no one is ever going to say to me again “you speak such good English!” Thinking I’m an immigrant, instead of someone whose family has been here for three generations.

I really never thought the day would come when something that had haunted me my whole life would be handled in such a mature, respectful and beautiful way. I think I can actually think about starting a family now- now that there’s one less terrible thing my kids will have to face in this world.

Children Named Hitler

Here’s a real news story from the "old America”

The father of three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell is asking for a little tolerance, “A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did." Young Adolf has two younger sisters. JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell will be two in February, while an infant named after Heinrich Himmler turns 1 in April.

This would never ever happen in post-racism America.

Spray Tan

Whew. Now that racism is over, and white people are comfortable in their own skin, they stopped doing strange things like this...

That's got to be better for them, everyone around them and the environment, don't you think?