Holidays

The new America has way more holidays, and way more fun!

Instead of everyone in the country being forced to take off Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving, workers and students are now allowed to take 10 personal cultural holidays per year. This can be applied to whenever their holidays fall without any penalty, pleading or paperwork. This gives flexibility to holidays whose dates change every year because they don’t subscribe to the Gregorian calendar. At schools, instead of the absent kid coming back and having to explain where he was the day before, he now hears “happy holiday!” on his return, because teachers take fifteen minutes to explain to their classes the special reason that Jacob or Jagdish is out of school for the day. The same happens in the workplace. Offices have taken to the practice with great enthusiasm, except they tend to celebrate the holiday a day early so they can surprise the person with cake at the staff meeting. Offices love any reason to surprise people with cake (or flan, gulab jamun or the occasional gifelte fish). Happy Diwali everyone!