"Indian"

Guest Blogger: Anu

In the New America, people have actually figured out that Native and Indigenous peoples are not Indian. That’s right, they actually figured out that Columbus did not actually land in India- and therefore that the people he found here are not actually Indians. It’s amazing to me that this took centuries and a black president to get people to figure this out. I got so sick of people asking me, “are you Asian Indian or Native American Indian?” Huh? There is no such thing as a Native American Indian. Indians are from India. Even worse, people would ask me “Are you spot or feather?” This was one of the hardest times for me to restrain myself and practice ahimsa, the Hindu principle of nonviolence. I swear my patience really got tested some days.

But now…now! When I say I am Indian, they say, “Oh, from what region? It’s like I woke up one day in a world where everyone is educated and actually in touch with reality. What a relief.

Rhyming

One of my most recent discoveries about the New America is that I no longer have to rhyme my words in order to be listened to.

For years, I’ve been trying to be taken seriously as a, well, as a person, but I’ve found that people expect me to sound a certain way. Yes, people think I am going to talk in “black English” but really, after many years, I’ve discovered that what they really want me to do, in order to be remembered, it to rhyme. You know, they want me to sound like Jesse Jackson or any number of hip-hop artists. It’s all the same- for white folks to remember what you said, it’s best to make things rhyme.

But now, I can speak my mind and people actually understand me- they actually get what I am saying and they remember it! One person actually repeated my words to me the other day and got the gist and the details of what I was saying correct. When they couldn’t remember exactly they asked me “now, how did you frame that idea?” This is much different than the usual “okay, say it again. How did it go?” as if I were pitching them a song, or commercial jingle. I finally feel like I’m being taken seriously- without the need to rhyme.

And to that I say, maybe we have reached the day “when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.”

Fake Siblings (aka “Bro” and “Sista”)

Oh, Jamal…you know how I used to hate when someone I was not related to called me “sista?” Well, I am happy to say that since the dawn of our new country, this has not been a problem at all. People now address me using…wait for it…it’s shocking…are you sitting down?….my name. Yes, that’s right- people actually use my name when they are trying to connect with me in conversation. It’s such a lovely change of pace. For a while I was getting suspicious that white people called black women “sister” because they couldn’t tell us apart from on another, and that “sis” was a good catch-all that prevented the chore of having to learn a black person’s actual name. I do have to admit, I feel like my family has grown just a bit smaller, but that’s okay by me.

Oh, Tamika, you are not kidding around, if one more person called me “bro” who was not actually my brother, I think I was going to sick my mother on them.

(T-shirt design by TBWear)

Small Talk

Hey Tamika,

Remember "back in the day" when it seemed like every time a white person wanted to talk to you they started by talking about the latest book they read by a black person. If they hadn't read a book by a black person they'd bring up the latest popular (ie: Denzel Washington or Will Smith) movie? If you hadn't seen it they'd look at you like you were some kind of inauthentic black person, or...crazy.

It seems like just yesterday my friend Vishal was saying that random people keep wanting to talk to him about Slumdog Millionaire, Kate and Janet say every time they hold hands in public someone taps them on the shoulder and to tell them that they voted against proposition 8, and Juan Carlos says that he had gotten plum sick of hearing about Bill Richardson. I agree, if I heard one more person tell me "aren't you proud of Obama? and all that your people have achieved?" I was going to go postal.

But now, in our post-racism world, people just talk to each other. Wow, it's like a breath of fresh air- they just say hello and ask about work, the weather, or the latest news or sports. It's not so much that people are color blind- I feel very comfortable bringing up race, I mean- they can see that I'm black. It's no secret, but now I get to bring it up on my terms, in my own way. People don't think that the only thing there is to talk about is the latest shallow association they have with people who look like me.

Or do they?

Accents

Guest Blogger: Su Yin

Jamal and Tamika,
I swear I am about to cry as I write this. I really thought this day would never ever come, not in my lifetime not in the lifetime of the kids I hope to have one day, not in the lifetime of the grandkids I hope to have one day. But it has come.

For centuries people have been making fun of the way Asians and Asian Americans talk. Everyone seems to think it’s a normal thing to mock someone’s accent. I get made fun of by kids in school, adults in offices, or celebrities on TV (shout out to Rosie O’Donnell, Al Roker and Kathy Lee Gifford) On top of that I think I will never hear “what kind of Chinese is that?” when I tell people that I’m Taiwanese. People used to act like they’ve never heard of Taiwain, (except as the place all plastic was made) let alone understood the relationship and struggle between China and Taiwain.

But today…today I woke up to a world where I will never have to hear the words “ching chong” again. On top of that, no one is ever going to say to me again “you speak such good English!” Thinking I’m an immigrant, instead of someone whose family has been here for three generations.

I really never thought the day would come when something that had haunted me my whole life would be handled in such a mature, respectful and beautiful way. I think I can actually think about starting a family now- now that there’s one less terrible thing my kids will have to face in this world.

Catchy Phrases

Here’s yet another way that living racism-free encourages vocabulary growth. People no longer use racism-based catch phrases to say what they mean. Like “you’re a real slave driver” or “she’s really cracking the whip.” This includes all related sound effects as well. Now people say what they mean, like “you’re really encouraging us to work hard.” How refreshingly accurate, with absolutely no reference to 200 years of brutal enslavement of an entire race! Who would have thought of that before? Phrases like “Indian summer” and “ricing your car” have also fallen by the wayside, as people realize the error of their prior ways. Naturally, this has carried over into non-racist cringe-worthy phrases. People almost never say “he is pimping you out” or “she drank the kool-aid," and no one uses "retarded" anymore. It’s really raised our caliber of conversation out of the gutter.

People also stopped being so defensive about their lack of vocabulary skills and instead filled the gap in their verbal repertoire with more words. Now that’s an easy solution! Amazing. Before people would debate and defend every insulting thing they said as if it was the hearer’s ears that had caused it to be offensive. Now, if a phrase has a hint, or even a myth of disrespect about it, people eschew it for an accurate, clearer non-insulting sentence. It’s nearly a renaissance of the English language!

Race

Guest Blogger: Prof. Cornell Eric Hooks-Wise

That’s right class, in a post-racism world everybody gets to have a race. I know that many of you thought that the essentialist ontological classifications of race should and would evaporate once we made enough progress to call ourselves post-racist, but as my colleagues and I have lectured and written for decades, it has come to now be understood that race, per se, was never the problem. How we deal with race, how we treat each other better or worse based on racialized stratifications, our culture of racial supremacy, superiority and ipso facto caste systems was the problem. This is what we’ve meant all along when we say that race is a social construct. We didn’t mean that race was made up- obviously it’s right here in front of us, but the critical nature of race lies in our practical, political, and economic application of it. How we handle it, how we put our differences into our societal structures is where the construction of race lies. Now, now that we are engaging in a post-racial societal reformation We’ve finally learned to use the gift of race for good and not for evil.

I know that many of you are disappointed because you hoped that the ol’ “we’re all one human race” thing would prevail and that some how magically one morning we would all emerge out of bed the same generic tan color, and that race would there by be obsolete. Or that we would all lose the full use of our ocular cones and rods and “stop seeing race.” I know this might be a hard adjustment for you, (though I’ve been trying to prepare you for this for years). But, fear not! I do have the good news that acknowledging race does not erase our commonalities. Of course we are all related. Yes our similarities are important, and should be celebrated. Yes, we are all one human species, (hey there’s that correct grammar coming into play again). So don’t worry your unifying little minds. Race was never what pulled us apart in the first place.

So go forth and enjoy this new era, students. Embrace your race, Embrace your species. Embrace your new world!

Now leave me alone, I have a seriously overdue sabbatical to take.

White

Guest Blogger: Becky

Hey guys? Guess what?

I’m white!!!

Yep, I’m white. I’m white, I’m white, I’m white, I’m white. White, white, white, white, white.

I. Am. White.

Wow it feels soooo good to say that!
I have spent so much energy thinking of other things to call myself so that I don’t have to admit that I am white and I was starting to run out of things to say. I had tried “I’m Caucasian” but then someone told me that that is an anthropological category that includes lots of brown-skinned people (oh, it's also a breed of dog). I tried “I’m Irish” but then I was told that that is an ethnicity (not a race) and that once again, brown-skinned people can be that too. Then I tried “I’m 1/16 Native American,” but that was just a lie.

Now I can just say “I’m white!” So cool!

I have to admit, I was so freaked out by the whole thing that I had to ask one of my old college professors to help me to understand how this all works. I didn’t want to enjoy it too much if it’s not the right thing to do. It can get pretty confusing at times. I used to feel so much guilt every time I said white. Even when people of color explained to me that not saying my race was a part of a racist system. I never got that. I always thought that being white was a bad thing. But then someone asked me to think about all the good things that are white. I did. I thought about clouds, and snow, and soft bunnies, milk, and George Clooney, and I felt so much better. I know that white people have done some pretty bad things over the years. It’s hard to admit that people like Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer and the Unabomber are white like me, but I have to acknowledge that they are as much a part of my race as the good people like Thomas Edison, Howard Zinn and Mr. Rogers, but I think I can do that. I mean, no race is perfect is it? Wow, how’s that for a revelation?! White people aren’t perfect! This is so freeing!

Black

Hey Jamal, isn’t it refreshing to hear "black" as a racial category and not as a synonym for all the worst things in the world? Now that racism is over, people no longer use the world “black” to mean “evil,” “wicked,” “ugly,” “dirty,” “bad,” “looming,” “sinister,” “psychologically twisted,” “disturbing,” “Darth Vaderesque,” or as a descriptor for all things negative? No more black comedy, black magic, or black spots on your soul. Gone are the “dark sides” and “dark moods.” Of course that means that “white” no longer means all things good, as in “white magic,” “white lies” and “white supremacy.” Now people use real English vocabulary to describe things with actual specificity. Having to find the words to say what they really mean, people are re-engaged with actual communication skills. Thesaurus sales have increased ten-fold! It’s created a real renaissance of language. Who knew we had so many useful words at our disposal?

I’ve also noticed that now that people don’t think that black is a bad word, so that when referring to a black person, people no longer whisper "black" like it was a life-threatening disease. Remember how people used to stutter when they try to say that someone is “b…b…bl…black,” often becoming so scared to say the b-word that they stumble into some other b-descriptor to put before it, which I suppose makes the word “black” easier to say. You know what I mean, right? White people try to describe a black man walking down the street, they start to say “black” but then get nervous and say something like:

“I saw this b…b…big black man walking down the street. Oh, did I say big? I meant beautiful this… uh, b…beautiful…black man, yeah, that’s what I meant.”

It would take them so long to get “black” out of their mouths, that by the time they did they were so traumatized that they forgot why they brought up the big beautiful black man in the first place. This precipitated many blank stares from white people, I guess waiting for me to either approve or get offended at their description. When I stared back at them, simply waiting for them to finish their sentence, panic often ensued, resulting in the frequent comment “you don’t’ think I’m racist because I said that, do you?” Awkward.

Kindergarten and elementary art school teachers have also stopped proclaiming “black is not a color!” at the top of their lungs. They recognize that this has confused children for decades and became a frequent playground taunt used against African American children. Ugh I hated that! Especially when it made its way from the playground of my childhood to the office staff meetings of my adulthood. People really hold onto that stuff they learn as kids. Now the teachers leave the dynamics of color theory for a time when students can understand it, (like in art school) and let kids be kids and just play with their paint.

Names

I haven’t had to spell, repeat or re-pronounce my name to anyone in this new America. Apparently people know enough about each others’ racial groups that they have actually heard, spelled and used our names before.

My friends, Alasdair, Estanislao, Yael, Ngugi, and Duqaq are reporting the same phenomenon.

“Diversity”

"Diversity” has actually come to mean, well, what it means. It no longer is used to describe having one or two people of color in the room, or to not having any people of color in the room but counting diversity as the one dude with a "funny name."

In this new America, “diversity” means having a truly broad range of identities intrinsically involved in the process, decision making and face of any group, company, corporation or organized entity. Companies, schools and organizations are actually taking note of the entire range of people they have on their staff, in their classrooms, etc. They also seem to realize that creating a truly diverse environment is not about being “politically correct” (a term I haven’t heard used once in this new America) but rather that it increases the experience for all involved on an intellectual, emotional and strategic level.

Now, when people say "we value diversity” they don’t just mean that on page 146 of their human resource book it says "we value diversity," but that they actually put the words into action. People are actually chiding themselves for missing one or another group, or for having “only” one person of a certain race. I haven’t heard anyone call someone “less qualified” or complain about how their uncle got passed over for a job because of a company's diversity policy. Instead they say "there are plenty of jobs to go around," and talk about how much their uncle loves his new job working with all of his fellow countrymen. People even recognize that people of color bring more than “a different perspective” to the workplace but that we bring actual knowledge, information, education, and skills.

This might be my favorite part of post-race America. If one more person referred to me as a “diverse individual” I was going to vomit. That's not even grammatically correct.